Maradona’s 2010 World Cup Rules

Crazy things that Maradona might actually require of his players

Diego Maradona Rules

Many teams, from Italy to Brazil, in past World Cups have banned sex during the tournament. This year, Capello, England’s national team coach, is banning WAGS and agents from their surroundings. He doesn’t want too much lovemaking or agent transfer talk taking place while the tournament is going on that would tire his players out. But stopping John Terry from sleeping with Lampard’s wife, don’t think that’s possible.

But sure, it’s normal for a coach of a World Cup teams to ban certain activities during the tournament. It comes around every four years, and fans live and die by the results, there’s nothing wrong with saying players can’t drink coffee for a month or must go to bed by a certain hour.

However, Argentine coach Diego Maradona, ever the contrarian, is an exception. Instead of banning things during the World Cup he’s enforcing things. Enforing sex. Enforing diet. Enforing certain daily rituals. Maradona, who’s a bit eccentric let’s say, in terms of his philosophy, and if you look back at his previous lifestyle choices. But Diego hopes these rules will lead to a World Cup victory for his beloved Argentina.

Here are 16 things players must do during the World Cup in South Africa this June:

1) Sleep in Maradona’s specially designed altitude tent with less oxygen (not as a team in one big tent but each player will be given a tent to sleep in – one big tent, that would be crazy)

2) Prior to the tournament starting each player must get a tattoo of either Maradona, Fidel Castro or Hugo Chavez (location is their choice – yes, players do have some say)

3) Drink three glasses of water each morning (easy – smart)

4) Do Yoga daily or at least Downward Dog and The Warrior Pose (Roy Keane & Ryan Giggs do it)

5) Shave your head right before the tournament starts, everyone but Messi (this one is a joke, we Argentines pride ourselves on our long hair, we are like Samsons)

6) Wear a necklace with a cross and or one with Maradona’s face on it (wards of evil spirits)

7) Practice the Hand of God daily in training (if we face England again we will use it)

8) Call their Mom and tell her they love her everyday of the tournament (just smart and good karma)

9) Players must stand on your head for twenty minutes before they go to sleep (reverses the circulation of course – cleans the body)

10) Dream of lifting the World Cup trophy over their heads for a few minutes each day (this must be done sitting with legs crossed and using visualization techniques – attention to details – see your face in the shining trophy)

11) Dance like Maradona used to when he played in Italy

12) Sex with wife or girlfriend every other day (important – exception Sergio Agüero, my daughter is not coming to South Africa)

13) Drink Yerba Mate prior to games (blood of life)

14) Once a day eat some steak asado, morcilla, and chorizo or at least a meat empanada (keeps you strong)

15) Kiss Messi’s shoes once a day (it’s either mine or his)

16) If you’re ears aren’t pierced you’re getting them pierced (I’ll do it if necessary)

17) Use an E-Bidet (a luxury toliet – “the world’s best toilet seat” which features a heated seat )

18) Tweet my mine at least once a day during the World Cup

19) Post my picture on your Facebook at least once a day during the World Cup

20) Look at me

What goes on at the Argentina World Cup base in Pretoria will be a mystery. Who knows what Maradona will force his players to do. A couple weeks with Maradona in charge to do whatever he wants, a bit scary. I wonder if Barcelona have put on a new insurance policy for Messi while he’s at the World Cup under the guidance of Diego.

Suggestions for more Maradona World Cup rules, send them over.